Thursday, October 28, 2010

I hold you tight
I get touched
I get discouraged

I don't know why yesterday night before I went to sleep.
my heart suddenly became very painful.
Not physical but emotionally.
Is like it went numb when I............
I wish I could stop it but I really can't..............

anyway today woke up, very tired due to my suffered mild insomnia .
the thought of going to school & then later to work was seriously disheartening.
blah blah, reached school,
and I swear that d411 is the coldest tutorial room ever.
this room is so cold that I couldn't think straight & I couldn't control my hands well,
even with my hoodie on.
and my 2nd module teacher is such an awesome lady !!!!!
she's damn funny, hyper, drama & good !!
At first we thought she was probably 30 plus,
but she said she will be 50 next year !!!!!!
oh my god. seriously unbelievable.
and next week will have ica already =.=
then lesson ended, today only we 3 ate together.
and went to work. yesterday I finally made my 1st appointment !!
and when I heard from my manager,
I got a very potential customer !! yipee !!!
and the 1st day,she said I could speak well & I got the slang
~ ahhahahahahah!! LLloooLLLL ~~

oh work. seriously, called a lot of weird people. !!!
grace ---> " OH I JUST GAVE BIRTH "
Huiyun ---> all were quite normal.
me: " Hello I'm Alex calling from prudential. " Alex? You called 2 weeks before. I recognize your voice " " I wasn't even here 2 weeks ago. I just started " " But it is you and is the same voice. And I'm not interested ok ! " " K Bye "
LLLLLOOOLL ~~~
some were very rude. when speaking half way,
they just stopped you abruptly and said " Not interested ".
a few were very nice. they kept apologizing. hahahahahaha ~~
and today got the pay & the last day ! yup !
very fast. and tomorrow,
I think my holiday job wi
ll bank into my account already.
save save save ~~~~
ff13 ~~~ iPhone ~~~
I think I get 3 can already. 4 is damn ugly !!!!!! ( my opinion but see how first )
15 clothes.

and I'm suffering anorexia these few weeks.
my appetite is really bad. even a small bowl or rice,
and I only scoop to fill 1/3 of it, i still couldn't finish the rice,
and worst is, it still left 1/2 untouched.
my main 3 period of life.
1--> insomnia period.
2--> diarrhea period.
3--> anorexia period.
oh well.
weak body. so damn useless.

my heart is still pained.
yesterday the dream felt so real.
don't you think is funny?
the person that you love can make you so happy today,
but can totally make you so sad the next day.
is like they have the power to control your emotion,
and they seem to be able to decide your mood for the day !
is it normal?
I think so.
and when you love someone so much,
their every single little word & action become just so damn sensitive to you.
you get affected so easily just by a single action & a single word.
As much as you try to deny it or hate to admit it,
or find thousands of excuses to convince yourself that you won't care about them anymore,
and won't get affected by their every single moves anymore
you know the truth deep inside your heart,
that you still love them so dearly.

" If you believe in me & my love for you,
you shouldn't even be jealous even if I share my laughter with others "
[ taken from a movie ]

so damn true.
now now......
do you believe in me?
do you trust my love for you that all was real ?
Let's not lie anymore.

I hold you tight again
I pull myself together
I get prim
You know many faces of mine

The Fairy & The Funeral{6:35 PM}
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